wow..........wow.

This is a hard blog to write.  I've been thinking about it for a while but I guess there is nothing to do but start typing...
Today is week 8. Vanessa had an ultrasound today.  My Dr called me to tell me the result.   He told me right off of the bat that the results were "very abnormal" and "both good and bad".    First of all, one of our triplets split.   Identical twins.....yes that makes 4 total babies.  But the identical twins had no heartbeat and neither did 1 of the others.  So we are down to 1.  So we found out that we lost 3 today.
It is hard to know how to express my feelings at this point.  I morn the losses of those babies.  S and I had definitely got used to the idea of triplets in this past week and we've been talking about it non-stop.  We were mentally prepared for 3 additions to the family and we've had tons of fun announcing it to everyone.
Our doctor pointed out the fact that pregnancies with identical twins are very dangerous and that it is likely that the entire pregnancy would have been a failure if the identicals would have lasted a while longer.  So in a way it was a blessing that they miscarried really early.   He also pointed out that now we have 1 healthy baby and a low-risk pregnancy.  This is the silver lining to this very black cloud.  At this point, this pregnancy is safe.  Very good chances we'll have a perfectly healthy baby come July.
This of course means that all of those anticipated trials (bed rest, NICU, financial bondage, etc) are gone.  But that of course doesn't matter at this point. The loss is huge.  This is the 3rd time we've had  a loss of unborn children.  Total of 4 babies.  This definitely hurts..........but we will move on and rejoice in our baby nestled safely within Vanessa.
Now we get to un-announce our triplets.  I don't like this part at all.  Telling people about such a personal loss is never easy.